You’ve dimmed the lights, put on a romantic playlist, and perhaps even made the time to go through a luxurious self-care routine ahead of time. But when your partner enters the bedroom, you may have a sudden feeling that being intimate is the last thing on your mind. While it can be disconcerting to feel these thoughts, know that you are not to blame.
As women age and enter their perimenopause and menopausal years, the interest in intimacy tends to decrease. Many women experience a natural decrease in their libido. This, combined with feeling less like themselves and navigating hormonal disruptions, can make sex feel like a chore rather than a pleasurable experience.
Vaginal Health and Urinary Symptoms
For women in their 40s and older, changes in urinary and vaginal health can significantly impact how they feel and engage in intimacy. Decreasing estrogen levels can lead to vaginal dryness, a condition known as vaginal atrophy. With this condition, it’s common for women to feel more inflamed or irritated in this region during sex. This is compounded with reduced lubrication, another symptom of perimenopause and menopause.
Because the vaginal tissues are thinning, it can lead to a higher risk of infection. Women may be more susceptible to urinary tract infections (UTIs), which can also trigger symptoms such as burning, itching, and prolonged irritation. Recurring UTIs can make sex more painful, reducing a woman’s overall desire to be intimate, which is why a UTI supplement may be necessary.
A weaker pelvic floor combined with thinning bladder tissues can lead to urinary incontinence, especially during activities where pressure is placed on the bladder. Other women may have urinary leakage during intercourse. This is known as coital incontinence and can turn many women away from having sex to begin with.
Natural Remedies to Ease Discomfort
While every woman’s body is unique, some natural remedies and solutions can ease this pain and discomfort related to vaginal and urinary health.
Hydration
This first remedy may be the easiest to do, but it’s also one that tends to fall by the wayside. Staying hydrated can help flush out bacteria lingering in the urinary tract and prevent infection from occurring in the first place. Aim to drink at least half of your body weight in ounces of water. This is a good measure of how much water you need throughout the day, regardless of your physical fitness that day.
If you find plain water to be bland, spice it up! Buy yourself a pretty reusable water bottle that you love so you’ll fill it up more often. Add some sliced cucumbers or frozen fruit like berries to keep the water cold and refreshing. Mint also adds a nice flavor and can make drinking water feel like you’re at a relaxing spa. Also, electrolyte packets are great to really stay on top of your H20 goals. Many of these packets are flavored, which can give your water a real pop.
Dietary Suggestions
When it comes to your diet, focus on eating a well-balanced, nutrient-dense diet full of variety and color. Probiotic-rich foods such as yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, and kimchi are known to help maintain a healthy balance of bacteria in the vaginal area and urinary tract. Probiotics also keep your gut healthy, meaning you should be having complete bowel movements daily to avoid any added pressure on the bladder.
Foods full of omega-3 fatty acids, such as salmon, sardines, flaxseeds, chia seeds, and walnuts, help reduce inflammation. These foods can improve blood flow and may even help increase estrogen levels, helping with vaginal lubrication.
Antioxidant-rich foods such as leafy greens and vibrant fruits, and vegetables can help protect cells from damage and support overall health and wellbeing. Many of these foods are also rich in vitamin C, which can help fight off infections.
Certain foods and ingredients can make your symptoms worse. It’s best to avoid excess amounts of caffeine, alcohol, spicy meals, artificial sweeteners, and overly acidic foods.
Pelvic Floor Exercises
The pelvic floor muscles are at the base of the pelvis and are used to support the pelvic organs, which control the openings of the vagina, urethra, and rectum. Pelvic floor exercises, also known as Kegel exercises, can strengthen the muscles surrounding the bladder and uterus. If you’re experiencing urinary incontinence or sexual dysfunction, these discreet exercises can help strengthen bladder control, reduce leakage, and improve sexual function.
During these exercises, you’ll contract and relax the pelvic floor to help strengthen it. The more you do them, the stronger you’ll feel within this area as well as the core. You can work with a physical trainer to learn the specific exercises, or look up some specific pelvic floor demo videos online.
Daily Routines for Staying Confident and Positive
In addition to physical symptoms, midlife can bring on a whole range of emotions for women. Hormonal changes can lead to increased mood swings, irritability, anxiety, and sometimes depression. It’s common to also feel restless or unfilled in certain areas of your life. While many of these feelings are normal, it’s best to work with a trained professional or therapist if they persist for longer periods of time.
That said, there are also ways to be more confident and positive simply by adding little rituals to your daily routine. Going on a nature walk first thing in the morning can allow you to gain perspective on the day ahead. A gratitude practice of listing just a few things that you’re especially thankful for can also set a positive tone for the day. Scheduling time into your week for activities that bring you joy — such as playing a musical instrument, reading, knitting, or gardening — is also important.
Lastly, make time for connection with friends and your partner. Life can be busy, but even a phone call to a friend while you’re both prepping dinner can boost your mood. Schedule a date night with your significant other, ensuring that both of you are off your devices and engaged in conversation. Being open about how you’re feeling and navigating this phase of life can ease the burden, allowing you to feel more relaxed and at ease.
