Mental health is a growing concern for many Americans. We have talked at length about the role of depression and anxiety in affecting our mental health. However, grief is an equally serious issue that can affect mental health.
Grief can particularly affect us during the holidays. While holidays are usually good for our mental health, they can be a very painful time when suffering from grief.
In order to protect your mental health, you need to know how to manage grief during the holidays. Keep reading to learn more.
Protect Your Mental Health While Managing Grief During the Holidays
Around 12.5 million people suffer grief after losing a loved one each year. They must know how to manage it during the holidays to keep their mental wellbeing in check.
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Life tossed us up into the air and scattered us, and we somehow found our way back. We will do it again and again. Do you want to press pause on the grieving process during the holiday season? Grief is like the ocean. It comes in waves receding and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and it may be overwhelming at other times. All we do is learn to swim.
Celebrating holidays during grief is hard. Many people in distress find this time of year to be particularly challenging. While coping with grief and loss may be difficult during the holidays, there are ways you can support yourself. First, remember that what works for you may differ from what works for others who are grieving the same loss. In addition, what works for you might change over time.
When going through grief during the holidays, check in with yourself about what is and isn’t working. Then, tap into your intuition about what grief rituals and practices might help you. Finally, allow yourself the space and time to do what works best for you. For example, you may want to buy kalms night.
Grief is constantly evolving, and the feelings sometimes seem out of our control. Therefore, the pause button does not exist. It is challenging to be in pain when there is so much joy around you.
Understand Your Feelings
Allow yourself to feel your emotions as they come up. Grief often brings up varied and often conflicting emotions. You may feel sad in one moment and full of holiday cheer the next. All of your feelings are genuine, and there is space for them. Permit yourself to feel without judgment.
It is imperative to allow yourself to feel any challenging emotions, like sadness, rage, or disappointment. Feelings that go unacknowledged and unexpressed build up. The stress of the holiday season may aggravate this until those emotions explode.
It is imperative to allow yourself to feel any challenging emotions, like sadness, rage, or disappointment. Feelings that go unacknowledged and unexpressed build up. The stress of the holiday season may aggravate this until those emotions explode.
Set Boundaries with Holiday Events
You may or may not participate in whatever feels suitable for you. So, there may be pressure to attend a holiday party, family gathering, or holiday show. Remember to check in with your wants and needs to discover your readiness.
It might be helpful to commit to something fun while remembering that you can leave anytime. It is also alright to opt-out of certain things altogether. Finding a balance between engaging and not pushing yourself is essential.
Don‘t Resist the Grief
Resistance to grief increases suffering and may even distort what the holidays offer us. Resistance reveals your fear of grief, loss, and change and may leave us victimized. Instead, the holidays focus on avoidance, losing the light that they may still offer us.
Tune into Your Grief Emotions
Grief will not take a back seat during the holidays and may often be magnified. Therefore, it’s vital to acknowledge your feelings and not avoid them. While grieving, you may experience negative and positive feelings during the holidays, which is OK. Be kind enough to yourself and remember that all emotions coexist.
It may be tempting to desensitize to drugs or alcohol during the holidays. However, anticipating difficult emotions and preparing ahead of time will help prevent negative consequences.
Plan Ahead to Fill Empty Holiday Roles
Loss often means that specific roles will need to be filled. Therefore, it is essential to consider who will fill those vacated roles. Planning ahead may avoid unnecessary moments of grief and helps make the experiences more fluid and enjoyable.
Do Something to Help Someone Else
Helping others is best to ease your pain. Helping people is definitely one of the ways to go through losing some dear ones. Visit a nursing home holiday event, help serve a meal at a soup kitchen, and donate gifts to needy families. Bring over holiday pie to an elderly neighbor or invite someone with nowhere to go to your Thanksgiving meal.
Identify Grief Coping Skills
Before the holiday season begins, consider creating a list of go-to coping skills to use at home or a social function. It will be handy when grief hits you unexpectedly. Examples of coping skills are deep breathing, taking a walk, journaling, listening to music, practicing yoga, and saying positive affirmations.
Ask For Help When Struggling with Grief
Seeking support from friends, family, coworkers, and professionals is essential. Whether you have lost someone dear to you, the holidays might bring up many complicated feelings. However, it’s normal and helpful to seek services from a therapist or psychologist.
Holiday Grief Tips
- Accept that the holidays will be different and challenging.
- Decide which traditions you want to keep and which to change.
- Create a new tradition in memory of the loved one.
- Decide where you want to spend your holidays. You may want to change the location or keep it the same. Either way, decide on the location.
- Remember that not everyone will be grieving like you are.
- Light a candle in your home to remember the lost person.
- Be honest. Tell your friends what you do and don’t want to do for the holidays.
- Buy a gift you would have gifted to your parted one and donate it to a local charity.
- Take out old photo albums and spend some time on the holiday looking at photos.
- Skip (or minimise) the decorations if they are too much this year. Don’t worry; you’ll see plenty of decorations outside your house.
- Say yes to help. There will be people who want to help and may offer their support. Take them up on their offers.
- Make some quiet time for yourself. The holidays can be hectic, so make time to journal, meditate, listen to music, etc.
Conclusion
The holiday season is sometimes more demanding than we want it to be. It is normal to feel concerned about it, and you are not alone. Please remember that there is no hard and fast rule to welcome the holiday season after losing a loved one. If you experience happiness, allow it to enter the grief space and be present with the people around you. Be kind to yourself and try to take it a one-holiday party and one feeling at a time.
