By using this site, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
Accept
Health Works CollectiveHealth Works CollectiveHealth Works Collective
  • Health
    • Mental Health
    Health
    Healthcare organizations are operating on slimmer profit margins than ever. One report in August showed that they are even lower than the beginning of the…
    Show More
    Top News
    healthcare cybersecurity
    4 Helpful Tips on How to Protect Your Medical Practice Against Cyber Attacks
    October 24, 2021
    Health Check Diagnosis Medical Condition Analysis Concept
    6 Health Woes With Online Remedies
    January 19, 2022
    Eight Things Men Should Know About the Male Menopause
    Eight Things Men Should Know About the Male Menopause
    April 24, 2022
    Latest News
    Beyond Nutrition: Everyday Foods That Support Whole-Body Health
    June 15, 2025
    The Wide-Ranging Benefits of Magnesium Supplements
    June 11, 2025
    The Best Home Remedies for Migraines
    June 5, 2025
    The Hidden Impact Of Stress On Your Body’s Alignment And Balance
    May 22, 2025
  • Policy and Law
    • Global Healthcare
    • Medical Ethics
    Policy and Law
    Get the latest updates about Insurance policies and Laws in the Healthcare industry for different geographical locations.
    Show More
    Top News
    healthy nursing school habits
    Healthy Habits for Nursing Student Nursing School Students
    May 24, 2024
    High Deductables
    High-Deductible Insurance and Rising Bad Debt
    July 24, 2015
    How People Are Taking Advantage of Health Deals in the Recent Recession
    February 5, 2021
    Latest News
    Top HIPAA-Compliant Messaging Apps for Healthcare Teams
    June 25, 2025
    When Healthcare Ends, the Legal Process Begins: What Families Should Know About Probate and Medical Estates
    June 20, 2025
    Preventing Contamination In Healthcare Facilities Starts With Hygiene
    June 15, 2025
    Strengthening Healthcare Systems Through Clinical and Administrative Career Development
    June 13, 2025
  • Medical Innovations
  • News
  • Wellness
  • Tech
Search
© 2023 HealthWorks Collective. All Rights Reserved.
Reading: 8 Ways To Help Those Who Don’t Want Help
Share
Notification Show More
Font ResizerAa
Health Works CollectiveHealth Works Collective
Font ResizerAa
Search
Follow US
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy
© 2023 HealthWorks Collective. All Rights Reserved.
Health Works Collective > Relationship and Lifestyle > 8 Ways To Help Those Who Don’t Want Help
Relationship and LifestyleSenior Care

8 Ways To Help Those Who Don’t Want Help

Kara Reynolds
Last updated: June 27, 2020 6:29 pm
Kara Reynolds
Share
7 Min Read
SHARE

It’s such a helpless feeling to watch someone you love self-destruct. You feel like you’re riding a roller coaster that never stops as your loved one makes progress, then backslides in a continual loop of frustrating behavior. Worse, when you try to intervene, they take umbrage. 

Contents
1. Promote a Healthy Environment 2. Anticipate Relapses 3. Set Clear Boundaries 4. Use Caution With Monetary Gifts 5. Leave Materials Where They Can Find Them 6. Check-in With Them Regularly 7. Separate the Person from the Behavior8. Practice Self-CareYou Can Help Those Who Don’t Want Your Assistance

What are some ways you can help someone who doesn’t want your assistance? While it does take considerable savvy — and patience, you can manage the task. By taking care of yourself and embracing the following practices, you can gently guide your loved one toward the light. 

1. Promote a Healthy Environment 

Does your spouse have an alcohol use disorder? If so, why do you pick up vodka when you go to the grocery store? You can’t control your loved one 24 hours a day, but you can take charge of your environment and make it supportive of their recovery. 

If you live with someone recovering from substance abuse, go through your home and eliminate sources of temptation. Contact your healthcare provider to make sure that doing so won’t send your loved one into dangerous withdrawal. If someone habitually drinks a fifth of whiskey daily and suddenly goes cold turkey, they could suffer seizures, and the symptoms can become life-threatening in rare cases. 

More Read

healthy living as a senior
7 Crucial Tips to Promote a Healthy Lifestyle for Seniors
4 Important Healthy Aging Tips To Keep In Mind As You Age
Easy Ways To Bring A Ray Of Hope In The Lives Of Handicapped People
6 Tips You Need to Know Before Settling an Elderly Loved One into Aged Care
The Benefits of Home Care for Seniors

2. Anticipate Relapses 

The road to recovery from mental health disorders and substance abuse isn’t smooth sailing. Your loved one will likely have setbacks when they relapse. Sometimes, they do so in exquisite style, going on a bender than can have devastating legal consequences. Other times, the signs are subtler because the individual knows how to hide their use from others, at least in the short-term. 

When relapses occur, avoid the temptation to mitigate the consequences, but do show empathy. If your son or daughter totals the family car while drinking and driving, let them accept their sentence instead of making a call to your poker buddy, the police chief. Shouting, “I have no son anymore,” doesn’t make the situation better, but neither does brushing criminal behavior under the rug. Support them through the process, but don’t enable them by helping them game the system. 

3. Set Clear Boundaries 

When you love someone with a mental disorder, their behavior impacts you directly. If someone in your household turns violent, it endangers the health and well-being of everyone else. You need to identify what acts you will and will not tolerate and the consequences if your loved one crosses the line. 

Spend some time soul-searching to decide what you will tolerate. Maybe you can forgive another relapse — but not if the substance use fuels domestic violence. Pick a time when you both feel calm and be direct in outlining what you will and will not stand and what you will do if the other person disrespects your boundaries. Do so in a neutral tone — you don’t want to imply that you’re punishing them for past indiscretions. You’re making a plan for moving forward. 

4. Use Caution With Monetary Gifts 

When you love someone with mental health or substance abuse issues, you run the risk of falling into codependent patterns that cause significant disruption. You want to help them with their problems, but giving them a blank check can result in them spending the money on drugs or alcohol. Before you offer help with things like rent or food, ask yourself if you are empowering or enabling them. The difference is, enabling perpetuates rather than solves a problem — ask yourself if your act of kindness could backfire.  

5. Leave Materials Where They Can Find Them 

Often, your loved one wants to work on their issues, but the very mental constructs that spurred the behavior in the first place can cause them to become oppositional when you make suggestions. Instead, why not leave reading materials where they can readily access them? Share helpful articles on social media — without tagging them in the post — and leave magazines and self-help books on coffee tables and bathrooms, if you share a home. 

6. Check-in With Them Regularly 

Mental health disorders can leave those afflicted isolated. If you don’t live with the person you are trying to help, set up routine check-ins with them via text or phone. If they are isolated due to quarantine for COVID-19, you can use technology like Facetime to make them feel less alone — you can even do a group call with today’s apps. 

7. Separate the Person from the Behavior

When you feel frustrated with your struggling loved one, it’s understandable to snap and say things like, “Why do you always have to create problems?” However, such statements only undermine their sense of self-worth and make them more prone to frustrating behavior.

Instead, separate the behavior from the person. You can say, “When you do X, it makes me feel Y.” That way, you make it clear that you are disappointed in their actions, but you still value them as human beings. 

8. Practice Self-Care

Loving someone who needs help but won’t accept it is exhausting. You can’t pour from an empty pitcher —  take time to do something kind and renew yourself every day. Maybe you treat yourself to your favorite yoga class or sink into a bubble bath with a novel. Honor your needs so that you can care for others. 

You Can Help Those Who Don’t Want Your Assistance

It’s challenging to help those whose reply to your efforts is, “no thanks.” However, with patience, persistence and wisdom, you can help them change their behavior and make strides toward health.

TAGGED:assistancecarehelp
Share This Article
Facebook Copy Link Print
Share
By Kara Reynolds
Follow:
Kara Reynolds is the founder and Editor-in-Chief of Momish Magazine, an inclusive parenting magazine filled with parenting hacks, advice, and more to keep your beautiful family thriving. As a mom and stepmom, Kara hopes to normalize blended families and wants her readers to know that every family is beautiful and messy just how they are. When she's not writing, Kara enjoys pilates and likes a little coffee with her cream. Find more from Kara on Twitter @MomishMagazine.

Stay Connected

1.5kFollowersLike
4.5kFollowersFollow
2.8kFollowersPin
136kSubscribersSubscribe

Latest News

women dental care
What Is a Smile Makeover and How Much Does It Cost?
Dental health
June 30, 2025
HIPAA-Compliant Messaging Apps
Top HIPAA-Compliant Messaging Apps for Healthcare Teams
Global Healthcare Policy & Law Technology
June 25, 2025
recovering from injury
Rebuilding After Injury: Path to Physical and Emotional Recovery
News
June 22, 2025
scientist using microscope
When Healthcare Ends, the Legal Process Begins: What Families Should Know About Probate and Medical Estates
Global Healthcare
June 18, 2025

You Might also Like

stay healthy as a senior
Senior Care

Best Ways to Protect Older Family Members This Winter

January 12, 2021
Senior CareSkinSpecialtiesWellness

Is Collagen Therapy a Worthwhile Treatment for Aging Adults?

May 31, 2020
6 Essential Tips for Caring for Your Senior Parents Health and Well-being
Senior Care

6 Essential Tips for Caring for Your Senior Parents Health and Well-being

February 14, 2024
medicare enrollment
Medicare

Medicare Helps Seniors, and People with Disabilities & ESRD

November 27, 2023
Subscribe
Subscribe to our newsletter to get our newest articles instantly!
Follow US
© 2008-2025 HealthWorks Collective. All Rights Reserved.
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy
Welcome Back!

Sign in to your account

Username or Email Address
Password

Lost your password?