Getting an MA in mental health counseling online can be an incredible way to gain a lot of information on mental illnesses and how they affect everyone. Still, you don’t need that career-level knowledge to understand this simple fact: mental illness is a daily struggle. According to this infographic by Mental Health America over 6 million men struggle with depression annually, more than 3 million have a panic disorder or phobia, over 2 million have bipolar disorder, another 3.5 million suffer with psychosis, and men make up 10% of patients with eating disorders.
If you’re not involved in mental health circles this may come as somewhat of a shock. After all, it’s likely that the men in your life aren’t very open about what goes on in their minds. There is a reason for this, and there’s a reason why men are 4 times as likely to commit suicide than women. Most men feel these reasons, but very few will speak up about it. So take this article as an opportunity to learn, and to provide your father/husband/brother/uncle in your life with a safe space to address what they may be going through.
Myth 1: Depression is Weakness
This rhetoric has been around since people first knew about depression. As a society that is obsessed with strength and self-sufficiency, disabilities and ailments such as depression are seen as an inherent weakness. As such, it is often treated with a degree of incredulity, ignorance, and at worst – bullying.
While depression and other mental illnesses can affect a person’s capacity to function in a “normal” way, it doesn’t do so because they’re weak. It is important to remember that mental illnesses are no more imaginary than physical ones. Their existence is not up for debate, and they often have physical symptoms or manifestations. For example, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is shown to physically affect several major parts of the brain in a way that constitutes brain damage.
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Depression is a condition where the brain is incapable of regulating mood-altering neurochemicals, leading to a constant, unregulated malaise of sorrow, low energy, sensory issues, fatigue, and fragility. This is not a choice people with depression made, and if it was simply a matter of being “stronger”, they would be. It is an illness, and it deserves the same respect, validation, and space.
Myth 2: A Man Should Control His Feelings
This is one of the many mental illness stigmas held against men due to what current generations are calling “toxic masculinity.” Toxic masculinity can be explained rather simply, it is the enforcing of traditional, or outdated “masculine” characteristics and behaviors, often at the expense of the physical or mental health of the man.
The idea that men should somehow be less emotional than women is not only archaic, but it is – to put it bluntly – dumb. It is one of the dumbest things to ever come out of the social consciousness. It doesn’t matter what someone’s sex or gender is, everyone is a human being, and human beings are inherently emotional. To tell someone that their emotions should be controlled, hidden, or filtered purely because of their sex or gender identity is not only entirely erroneous, but it’s harmful too. Such invalidation in the face of suffering with mental illness not only exacerbates the issue, but can be the very thing that drives someone over the edge.
Myth 3: Real Men Don’t Ask For Help
This myth arises as a kind of spin-off of the previous entry. A man should be strong, and control their feelings. If they do this, then they don’t need help. Asking for help is already an incredibly vulnerable experience, and many people will avoid it for as long as possible. Especially men, who are likely to think that if they ask for help they are showing a form of weakness, which faces the stigma as outlined earlier.
Aside from this, the idea of a “real man” and what they do/think/look like has changed countless times over the years. Ideas of what is or isn’t masculine is purely a social construct, not a fact of life, and treating it as the latter is severely harming men’s wellbeing, as well as discussions around men’s mental health.
Myth 4: Talking About Mental Illness Won’t Help
This is a kind of double-sided one but despite that it has some kind of truth to it doesn’t make it any less harmful. When we say “help,” we typically tend to come at it from the perspective that the only form worthwhile of help is a cure. But no cure exists for mental illness. In that sense, not talking about your illness won’t help.
However, in the sense of release, of seeking/receiving support, of being in an environment that feels safe enough to talk openly about your struggles, and the feeling of social connection – these are all endlessly helpful.
Imagine if you got burned on an open flame or electric cooker. Depending on the severity, you’d probably give a shout or some other verbal indication of the pain you feel. Why should this stop just because your pain isn’t physical? Talking is to mental illness what the cry of pain is to physical injury.
Myth 5: Being Mentally Ill Makes You A Burden
Much like the previous myth, this one is a cruelly perpetuated half-truth. While mental illness isn’t your fault living with it is your responsibility. Your symptoms will, occasionally, spill out into the lives of those you care for, but this doesn’t make you a burden – it makes you someone with a chronic illness. If you seek treatment and are proactive in addressing your mental illness, there is no reason you should be a burden to anyone. Millions of mentally ill people in the world exist, many of them lead long, fulfilling lives, and many live alone with no support.
This myth exists because of antiquated ideas of what living with mental illness looks like. To have a mental illness was to be sent to an insane asylum and thereby bothering nursing staff, or to be a constant source of embarrassment for your family. However, these ideas are relics of a bygone era when people didn’t know much (if anything) of what these conditions actually were. It isn’t relevant to today’s age.
